Introducing the Handsome Pinoy Tarzan

The DKNLK show’s frequent budget constraints, likely caused by the heinous nature of GMA itself, have led to some embarrassingly funny, yet rather saddening choices. Some of the most insane are especially for Tarzan At Jane, an episode which aired during one of the show’s early years. There are a couple of differences between it and most official adaptations, which themselves play just as loose with the source material. 

The first difference is that, although they’re supposedly leopardesses, Sabor Senior and Sabor Junior are played by Diva Montelaba in a cheapish, cruddy tigress costume. Thankfully, both have somewhat distinctive personalities unlike in the more boyish Disney variants where they are just generic beginner villainesses, albeit big and dangerous leopardesses. 

The second difference is that the special episode’s eponymous Tarzan is played by a handsome Filipino, which is saying a lot because there already was a Japanese Tarzan played by Fuminori Ohashi and a definitive Indian Tarzan played by Hemant Birje. Compounding it is that a few of the other distinctive Tarzans are just not considered attractive anymore. His loincloth is rather modest, while his hair is just straight, rather than wavy like in the books or dreadlocked like in the Disney variants.   

The third difference turns out to be how many sidekicks does Tarzan have. Discount Tantor the elephant does get mentioned in the special episode but isn’t seen unlike in the Disney variants. Nonetheless, a knockoff Terkina in cavewoman clothes makes friends with a feathery buddy in tow. Even more funnily, said Discount Gooney Bird is an escaped circus toucan! 

The fourth difference is about Jane Port and her father Professor Port. They likely wear clothes more typical of the early Cold War and are themselves distinctive knockoffs of Jane Parker and Professor James Parker (or Disney’s spin on Jane Porter and Professor Archimedes Porter) played by Filipinos. 

The fifth difference is about which personality the heroic characters possess. Pinoy Tarzan is more of a loud and proud hottie than in the French Tarzan tv show, where his official counterpart is a blonde hunk who peacefully enjoys taking turns with his friends. Jane Port is his newly adopted sister-girlfriend doing her best to blend into the gorilla pack. Terchak is essentially a Pinoy gorilla substitute for both Tublat and Kerchak, albeit with Akut’s snarky personality attached. 

The sixth difference is about the scale of human villainy. Clayton the logger is more like the dastardly Hauser Brothers in the official French Tarzan show, albeit being rather less dickish about since he does have a slight amount of empathy left.  

Behold the most important difference of them all; the gorillas who raised Tarzan (at least in the Disney variants) are made more anthropomorphic by wearing discount caveman costumes, not to mention introducing themselves to an audience of newfound Filipino/Filipina furries. But since the guidelines for Filipino children’s shows tend to shy away from onscreen death, they have all survived, unlike in the Disney variants, where some of them have passed away. And it’s all because most of the show producers (still) can’t regularly see images of actual gorillas being quadrupedal, wild nude furry apes, let alone reading books about prehistoric humans.